Happy New Year!

Thank you for celebrating one year of erotic fiction writing with Freckleman64.

Happy New Year, dear subscribers!

I began writing erotic fiction in October 2020 at a low point during the pandemic. I was feeling isolated, bored, and stuck in my writing career.

Then, one evening, I was reading a story on Literotica called “The Discovery: Prison Inmates.” It was a touching, sexy, romantic story of two men finding love in prison, and I was hooked. I read all five chapters, getting more and more invested in the story, until I got to the end of chapter 5. No resolution, no ending—just an unfinished story, the last chapter of which had been released a decade prior.

I was pissed. I wanted to know what happened with Jamie and Rhys, and that despicable warden who was determined to get in the way of their newfound love! I was so mad that I decided I would write my own prison love story, with my own characters, and by God, I would finish it.

That was when I started Protect Me: A Prison Love Story. I had just accidentally poured an entire glass of water on my laptop, and it would be two weeks before a new one would arrive in the mail. So, every day and night, I would type away on my phone, telling the story of Joey and Derek, my very own star-crossed prison lovers. It was silly, erotic, and in hindsight, kind of ridiculous. But I put aside my fears and wrote, telling myself it was just a fun writing exercise that would get me writing without my perfectionism holding me back for once.

I ended up posting it on Literotica under the handle Freckleman64, which had been my AOL username growing up (a beautiful amalgamation of my freckles and my undying love for the Nintendo 64). To my surprise, the feedback was… not terrible! People enjoyed my writing—but more than that, I enjoyed my writing. I was proud of what I’d written, and unlike a TV script or a blog post, I could post it where people online would actually read it.

So I started a new story called Voyage Into Manhood. This one was based on the ex-gay retreat “Journey into Manhood,” which I’d extensively researched for the TV pilot I was working on about conversion therapy. After Voyage was Falling For Daddy, which channeled my fondness for daddies, then Seducing The President’s Son, a sexy political erotic thriller inspired by the recent exposé of the NXIVM cult in the documentary “The Vow.”

Then there was The Curse of 100 Bottoms.

Most of my stories took me about a month and a half to write, and each was about 4-5 chapters. This one spanned 11 chapters and 70,000 words, longer than anything I’d ever written. I wrote it in the span of about a month, while my freelance writing had crawled to a stop and I had nothing to do but spend every afternoon with Willem and Jake, carving out their love story.

This story touched people in a way I’d never imagined, and it had a similar effect on me. I’d been inspired by my discovery of gayspiralstories.com, which blended fun mind-control and magical elements with fantasy. I read stories unlike anything I’d ever read, where guys got cursed and hypnotized, turned into beefy studs and insatiable bottoms, with just about the most insane story elements you can imagine.

I wanted to play around with all of these elements, and I decided to do it in a sort of procedural format where a guy would need to seduce a whole bunch of different men. What I needed was a reason behind the seduction, and the idea of a curse fit perfectly. Just as the bully Eddie McDowd needed to do 100 good deeds to turn from a golden retriever into a human again, Willem needed to bottom for 100 men to break his curse and return to his life of bland heterosexuality.

I posted the story on GaySpiralStories, then Literotica, where it received such a warm reception that I knew the story had touched people the way it touched me. That was when I started to realize that, even though I was writing smut, it was the romance that hooked me. Some people who had come to jerk off went away in tears (which is not normally something most people want, but I’ll take it).

Then I met my husband. We dated long-distance during the pandemic, and the next few years of my life were filled with travel, living in a foreign country, getting married, navigating the green card process, and the whirlwind of meeting and marrying my soulmate.

So there wasn’t a lot of time or motivation to write.

We settled back in LA in early 2024, and once the dust settled, I found myself missing the old days of romance stories and steamy smut. So I started writing again, another procedural called Cucked By My Dad. Again, what began as a silly smutty tale took on a life of its own as I wrote, and I became hopelessly invested in my characters once again.

It seems dumb, sometimes, to put so much weight into something that most people use as jerk-off material. But no matter how people react to my writing, I know that I need to put time and care into everything I write, because that is the only way I know how. I think a story can be funny, sexy, hot as hell, and heartwarming at the same time. I think sex is something we all want, and sometimes our desires make us feel ashamed or conflicted. The things that repel us—cucking, cheating, incest, nonconsensual consent—often attract us as well, and fiction is a safe place to explore those fantasies. I have had my own hangups around sex, and have come to my own conclusions around casual vs. committed sex. When I write, I can delve into my darkest fantasies without judgment, yet I can also ask questions of myself, my readers, and my characters.

I hope none of this comes off as pretentious. I certainly don’t think I’m the Proust of erotic fiction or anything (I say this as someone who has never read Proust, but is aware of his reputation). But I do take what I write seriously, and I hope that care and dedication come off on the page.

I started this Substack because I believed I could turn this writing hobby of mine into a core part of my creative output. I launched it on January 1st, 2025, and what started as two subscribers quickly grew to reach over 115 paid subscribers and almost 550 total subscribers by the year’s end.

I am so humbly grateful to all of you for reading my work, whether you’ve been following me since the beginning or you’ve only now just discovered my writing. You’ve helped me support my family—a husband and two small pups—lean into my writing even more, and even quit a shitty part-time job at Starbucks (for which I will be eternally grateful).

Here’s to another year of writing, dirty gay sex, and heartbreaking romance. Cheers!

-Freckleman64